Punk Smurf pens a bilingual blog

Oh, to wake up painless...

I had a hospital appointment last Friday, and my physiotherapist's diagnosis got confirmed by a medical specialist; I am indeed suffering of "frozen shoulder". He sent me to radiology to get the shoulder thoroughly checked; I got the letter stating I am expected for an MRI scan on 9/11 - I kid you not. If the scan turns out clear (as in: no other damaged tissue or torn ligaments - or whatever those things are called in English) I'll have to make another - hopefully the last in a long, long time - appointment. I get anaestisized and then my shoulder will be "loosened" up. It will be excuciatingly painfull indeed (no, I am not looking forward to that), but I'll ask for painkillers for when the anaestesia wears off. My physiotherapist is glad I am going to get the treatment, since it will shorten the healing process of my shoulder. I'm told that even when the shoulder's healed completely I am not allowed to start working out for another three to four months. No bench pressing, no push ups, no weights... Dude, how am I supposed to keep it all tight? (I walk an avarage of 4 miles on a regular work day, but that's not enough.)

Oh, and how ironic: just last week my physiotherapist read the tattooed line on the inside of my left arm during a session "I wish I would never hurt again".

Frozen shoulder?

Yesterday's session at the physiotherapist's was grueling.

Rob had consulted another (more experienced) physiotherapist about my shoulder and the fact that the clavicle was slightly "off kilter". His colleague thinks there might be something torn after all, some kind of ligament that normally keeps everything right in place. I asked him why it didn't show on the echo, and he replied that those kind of torn aren't visible on echos. Hm. He spoke about changing the diagnosis on the shoulder into "frozen shoulder". I've heard of it, but I had no clue what it was... I guess I am feeling it now.

Anyhoo, it gave Rob more leeway to stretch my shoulder to the possible max. And that he did. Let me tell you; I'd rather attack the punching bag without taped knuckles and gloves than endure several more of this. Unfortunately, "this" is going to be waiting for me on next Tuesday's session I joked he must be glad I wasn't going to punch him to get back at him, to which he replied I was allowed to - as long as I used my left arm. Jerk

Kiss (and tell?)

Currently listening to Cyndi Lauper (album: Bring ya to the brink)

Back in the 90s Jill Sobule sang about the fact that she kissed a girl:

Back then it still had a certain kind of innocence. Now, Katy Perry's single "I kissed a girl" isn't anything like Jill Sobule's cute, folksy song of the same name. At all. Whereas Jill's song was a lighthearted, sweet tune that could have been a coming-out song, Katy Perry's song is a bit more... Stereotypically bicurious.

AfterEllen's Malinda Lo wrote the following (and I concur):

The first time I heard this song (you can listen to it at Katy Perry's MySpace page), I was hooked. It's fun, it's kind of naughty, and Perry's self-confidence shines through in her bold voice. The chorus, "I kissed a girl and I liked it," repeats often enough that it gives the song a kind of (fake) Gay Pride feel. And then I read the lyrics:

This was never the way I planned
Not my intention
I got so brave, drink in hand
Lost my discretion
It's not what I'm used to
Just wanna try you on
I'm curious for you
Caught my attention

I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry Chapstick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don't mean I'm in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it

No, I don't even know your name
It doesn't matter
You're my experimental game
Just human nature
It's not what good girls do
Not how they should behave
My head gets so confused
Hard to obey

In case you can't tell what's wrong with this song, let me elaborate.

• The girl has to be drunk first to kiss another girl, implying that kissing another girl is only something you'd do after you lose control of your decision-making faculties.
• "I hope my boyfriend don't mind it" not only means she's cheating on her boyfriend, but that she thinks he's going to find out and hopes he won't mind. After all, what straight guy would mind watching his girlfriend kiss another girl?
• "It's not what good girls do" clearly implies that lesbians are not good, and their behavior is wrong.

The one good thing about it is that the lyrics also say that kissing girls is "just human nature." Oh, who am I kidding? This song is for drunken straight girls fulfilling Real World-type stereotypes!

Katy's single has gotten a lot of airplay in The Netherlands the past week. Dutch morning DJ Giel (who used to be a shock DJ, but with more style and grace than Howard Stern in his younger days) wrote some Dutch lyrics to the music, recording his experience of kissing guys (he's straight) and called it "I kissed a boy". I think he actually got the point; he's lyrics are just as silly as Katy's. Watch and listen to it *HERE*. (It's in Dutch...)

Of course, there's a gay boy version on YouTube, too:

Noticed the "I kissed a boy and I liked it.. I hope my girlfriend don't mind it!" ? Heh.

Een beetje vreemd, maar "lekker" is het ook niet helemaal

Currently listening to Hercules and Love Affair (album: Hercules and Love Affair)

... En zo kom je er ineens achter dat niet één, maar twee heren heimelijk verliefd op je zijn. Een beetje vreemd, omdat je dat niet verwacht, maar wel ego-strelend. Met één van hen heb ik het uitgepraat, omdat ik een eventuele pijnlijke situatie wilde voorkomen als ik weer eens een leuk gesprek met hem heb. Hij verzekerde mij dat ik me geen zorgen hoef te maken, maar dat hij het toch erg jammer vindt dat ik niet op mannen val. Tja... Die andere vriend van me heeft waarschijnlijk nog niet in de gaten dat ik het in de gaten heb. En dat wil ik zo houden. Ik buit het niet uit, en het ziet er ook niet er niet naar uit dat hij zich plots als "amoureuze nar" zal ontpoppen. (Ik zie hem niet vaak, dus dat helpt.)

Het gekke is dat meneer nummer één een ex is van mijn dinnetje (de wereld is klein, ik weet het). En hij hoopt dat het het wat wordt tussen haar en mij. Ik sprak haar afgelopen maandag; maar goed dat het internet bestaat, want van 3,5 uur aan de telefoon met je lief hangen is wel leuk - die rekening moet ook betaald worden. Ik merkte al een aantal weken dat ze niet lekker in haar vel zat, dus toen ze me vroeg of ik even tijd had om met haar te praten wist ik wat ik kon verwachten. Al snel werd duidelijk waarom ze de laatste maanden bij vlagen afstandelijk was; zij vindt dat ik een goed, perfect en volwassen persoon ben (in vergelijking met haar). Ik geloof dat mijn mond open viel van verbazing, en ik wist effe niet wat ik daarmee aanmoest. Hoe kwam ze daarbij?! Afijn, aan het eind van het gesprek voelde zij zich beter. En daar deed ik het voor.

Setting the record straight

On Tuesday my manager called me and wanted a talk. I went in today. We talked about my current state of health, and we got to set the record straight - there was a failure in communication. My disappointment is from raising the bar high for myself and currently not being able to meet that (although it is nice to know I have credit). And as with any disappointment I shut down, withdraw, instead of vocalize what is bothering me.

Reminder to myself: vocalize more.

I'm disappointed

I had a whole weekend to think things through properly after a visit to the physiotherapist last Friday - who was not amused to learn I had a cortisone shot in my right shoulder. (According to the doctor, the pain and burning sensation is actually bursitis.)
I'm not a drama queen. In fact I tend to make light of things, shrug it off rather than exaggarate. But when both my doctor and physiotherapist told me to rest rather than work (my physiotherapist also explained to me in detail why and was very adamant about me staying at home doing nothing) I started thinking that even though it all made sense, I needed to change my priorities. I decided to take their advice. (I really need to be fit for that long flight in 10 days!)
I called in this morning, partly to check in and to tell my manager I wasn't coming in this week after all. He then said something to me which clearly indicated they had expected me to be back at work today. I told him this time I put me and my health first, not work. I felt bad, but I know in the long run this is a healthier option.

I'm disappointed because I thought, of all people, my manager would at least have some empathy. I was wrong.

Letting go of another bad habit

Maybe the dislocated shoulder is a blessing in disguise. I don't know yet. The verdict's still out on it.

In a perfect world I would have called in sick right after the accident happened, and I would rest my injured shoulder. In the real world I didn't call in sick, and I tried to compensate for the fact that I couldn't use my left arm/hand. Incredibly stupid, I know. I did so, despite the warnings of friends and family. I felt responsible and wanted to make sure work went as smooth as possible. My physiotherapist warned me to not work through the pain like I usually do, but stop. This kind of physical pain is meant as a warning that there actually is something wrong. As opposed to the "I-stubbed-my-toe-and-now-it-frikkin-hurts" kind of pain. And I realized that my right shoulder was hurting. I tried to take it easier, but it was too late already. Sleeping became something I wasn't looking forward to (I really like sleeping) since all I could do was lie flat on my back. The entire night. And we all know that it's virtually impossible.

A pillow under my left shoulder supports my injured shoulder, and prevents me from accidentally turning onto my left side whilst sleeping. There's no extra pillow to support my right shoulder, and after waking up multiple times a night because of the pain and a burning sensation in my right shoulder I knew it was bad news. Sunday night I decided to call in sick the next day to give my newly injured some rest, and to try and catch up on some sleep. On Tuesday my superior called me to ask me if I could come in and give some instructions on how to go about the stuff on my desk. I'd get help. So I went in for just a few hours. (I thought it'd be better than to hang around at home.) The help I got came in the shape of an intern, who really is as dumb as a box of hammers; I have to spell out every. Single. Thing. Combine it with fatigue due to lack of sleep, it didn't take long to get seriously irritated.

I felt compelled to do the work myself. But that would be wrong. I shouldn't be at work in the first place.

I went in for just the morning on Thursday. (I know, I am stupid like that, but I feel responsible.) It was pretty much the same story. By the end of the morning I just about had it with the intern, and I went straight to bed when I got home. I managed to get about an hour's worth of sleep before the pain in my shoulders woke me up again. Later that evening I talk to my friend WP who basically says the same things the physiotherapist's already told me, and she suggests I go see the doctor and ask for sleeping pills; they may not numb the pain, but it would give me a good night's sleep. That alone would make me feel better. I knew she was right.

Friday rolled around and I go see the doctor (after managing to squeeze in an appointment). I explained everything and asked him for sleeping pills. The doctor checked my right shoulder, concludes it's bursitis and told me he'd be giving me a cortisone shot. In the shoulder. He also emphasized to give the right shoulder plenty of rest. I call my superior at work; I had the feeling they were expecting me at work. And they were! I told him about the cortisone shot and that the doctor basically ordered rest. I also informed him that I'd be seeing the physiotherapist later, and that I'd be asking for his opinion, too.

Rob, my physiotherapist was not happy to learn about the cortisone shot. And again stressed the importance of rest. He wasn't happy to hear I plan to go back to work (part time) next week. I think I'm starting to breaking a habit - not entirely, but I feel I have taken the first step. I intend to have a talk with my manager and to tell it like it is. If he feels I'm slacking then I tell him to go ahead and subtract the time off my personal leave; this time I'm going to put health first, instead of work.

Stuff. This. Week

Currently listening to Editors (album: An end has a start)

"Verbotene Liebe" (Forbidden love) is a German daytime soap that caught the attention of gay America. See why:

Their first kiss is so sweet - well acted, guys! (Too bad the final part is a bit of an anti-climax...)

This clip is not from a recent episode (their story evolved and still is), but can you imagine this on US daytime TV?

And on the topic of TV, here is a hilarious John Barrowman clip I didn't post earlier:

John came in second (right after Jake Gyllenhaal) in AfterElton's HOT 100. Click here to see the other hotties visitors of the site voted for. Their "mother" site AfterEllen.com also has their HOT 100, with the top 100 women queer women voted for (I voted, too). Click here to check it out.

PS I agree with Jonathan Ross: I think the lady has a very pleasant voice to listen to.

A few weeks ago, the duo performed at Jonathan Ross's talk show:

They're currently on tour. Here's an interview I found on Yahoo:

NEW YORK (Billboard) - Alison Moyet and Vince Clarke have seen so little of each other since electro duo Yazoo went its separate ways in 1983 that Moyet reckons they caught up recently for the first time in 16 years.

Now, however, the pair -- who enjoyed a string of top five U.K. hits with "Only You," "Don't Go" and "Nobody's Diary" -- will be seeing plenty of each other. Yazoo (or Yaz as it is known in the United States) began its Reconnected tour May 26 in Copenhagen, and dates extend across Europe and the United States through late July.

"In Your Room" (Mute), a four-disc collection of remasters, remixes, B-sides, a DVD and the band's two albums "Upstairs at Eric's" and "You and Me Both," is out now in the United Kingdom and Europe. Moyet's latest solo disc "The Turn," issued in the U.K. last year on the Universal-backed W14 label, comes out in North America on July 8 via Decca.

1. IT'S BEEN A QUARTER-CENTURY SINCE YAZOO LAST PLAYED TOGETHER. WHY REUNITE NOW?

I would have done it a million times over in the last 10 years. It was unfinished business. Performing is like the pleasure point of the three areas we work in -- writing, recording and then doing it live. We only did about 24 gigs for the first album, but never did any for the second. And these songs are a big part of my catalog. It fell at a time when (Clarke's) Erasure were having a break, and it was just serendipity.

2. HOW DID THE REUNION COME ABOUT?

Before I put out my last album I was thinking, "I really want to sing these songs live." I e-mailed him, and he said as much as he liked the idea, he was in a committed musical relationship. You can't go back and shag the ex-wife for old time's sake. It's a bit like that, as much as we were never biblical, obviously. Then I got an e-mail from (Mute Records founder) Daniel Miller saying Vince had been in touch with him and had had a change of heart and did I still fancy doing a Yazoo gig?

3. WILL THE PERFORMANCES BE RECORDED FOR DVD/CD RELEASE?

I'm sure the powers that be will be considering that. If there's one thing I can be sure about, this could be the only outing. There's no long-term career plan. It's not about milking it. It's just about what's happening now. Next month it could be all over again.

4. ARE YOU STILL RECORDING SOLO WORKS WITH W14?

No. I was with W14 just for the one album. The last four albums I've made, I've just licensed them to record companies. I never wanted to get into that thing where they have you and you don't have them. After my experience with Sony, although I had many great years with them, (there) comes a stage where they have less faith in you and they don't release you. It's a hideous place to be. I don't get upset with people when they want to move on. I do get upset when they want to move on and won't let you move on.

5. DOES AN ARTIST NEED TO BE MORE BUSINESS-SAVVY TODAY?

Yeah, you do. You just have to realize you're getting into a marriage with no possibility for divorce from your position. When I started out, I was 20 and signed all sorts of things -- I didn't know what they were and they caused me all sorts of problems later in life. Now I do deals where I say, "You're going to pay to make this record but it's only a license." On the last couple of deals, I'd always put a clause in saying if Yazoo were ever to have a chance of going, I'd always have to be free for that.

6. BRITISH WOMEN ARE ON A HOT STREAK IN THE UNITED STATES. ARE THERE ANY THAT YOU CURRENTLY RATE?

Of them all, Amy Winehouse is the truest all-round talent. She's a flawed talent, but that's what makes her interesting. Singers are far more interesting when they get older. I preferred Madonna's "Ray of Light" (to) any of her earlier stuff.

On June 1st fashion legend Yves Saint Laurent reportedly died of a brain tumor. He was the first designer to use black models in his runway shows, and he was the popularized arguably the most famous classic tuxedo suit for women in 1966, "Le Smoking" suit (tuxedo). Merci monsieur Saint Laurent.

Basically nothing new

I had an appointment with a physiotherapist earlier today. I didn't know what to expect. Which was a good thing: he basically didn't tell me anything new and it looks like I'm taking the shoulder immobilizer with me on my trip to San Francisco... Despite a serious injury I didn't take any sick leave, and I could tell by the look in his eyes he was none too happy about it. He pointed out the importance of NOT working through the pain - like I'm used to doing. He also told me to not over-exert my other shoulder in trying to compensate for the injured one. That's easier said than done, but I have been doing that ever since the shoulder incident.
He showed me some super easy excercises, and the next appointment is Friday next week. I'm glad he's amiable and easy on the eyes. Otherwise I would loathe the lenghty road of recovery even more.

A day at the hospital

I spend part of my morning at the neurologist's. When he asked me about the vertigo I told him I'd quit the drugs after one day as they triggered my eczema. Badly. He was taken aback and very relutant to prescribe me anymore drugs. He again noticed my right eye (I was tired) and referred me to an opthalmologist to have that checked up properly.
Since I practically live around the corner of the hospital I went home... And crashed. Despite the painkillers I haven't been sleeping well lately, and tomorrow it's been two weeks since I dislocated my shoulder. I was out for over two hours. I had to hurry to be on time for my afternoon appointment with the ortho guy. He was smaller than I thought and wore braces - you know, the kind teens wear in high school to correct their teeth.
He basically told me to let my injured shoulder rest some more (i.e. no driving, no sports etc) and gave me a referral for a fysiotherapist.

To be continued...

BTW Happy birthday, Melissa Etheridge!

California here I come

Disclaimer: it was the first thing that popped when I read the news last night (no, I do not intend to get married) before realizing it's a Sophie B. Hawkins song.

You probably heard or read about it by now. Maybe even seen reports on tv. I am happy for those same sex couples in California who have the desire to get wed.

In a historic, 172-page decision, the court was unequivocal in its insistence that same-sex relationships are equal to opposite-sex relationships. Quite simply, they said gays and lesbians deserve the basic right to marry.

“... under this state’s Constitution ... [core substantive] rights include, most fundamentally, the opportunity of an individual to establish — with the person with whom the individual has chosen to share his or her life — an officially recognized and protected family possessing mutual rights and responsibilities and entitled to the same respect and dignity accorded a union traditionally designated as marriage…

Furthermore in contrast to earlier times, our state now recognizes that an individual’s capacity to establish a loving and long-term committed relationship with another person and responsibly to care for and raise children does not depend upon the individual’s sexual orientation, and, more generally, that an individual’s sexual orientation — like a person’s race or gender — does not constitute a legitimate basis upon which to deny or withhold legal rights.

We therefore conclude that in view of the substance and significance of the fundamental constitutional right to form a family relationship, the California Constitution properly must be interpreted to guarantee this basic civil right to all Californians, whether gay or heterosexual, and to same-sex couples as well as to opposite-sex couples.”

Hm. The ruling means that as of next month, California may (opponents are asking the court to stay its judgment pending proposed legislation in November that would amend the state constitution to ban gay marriage) become the only other US state besides Massachusetts in which it's legal for same sex couples to get married.

I'm crossing my fingers...

On another note, I think I dislocated my shoulder earlier this evening as I was in the initial stages of checking up on the engine of my hatch back (my main focus would be one of the head lights), leaning in while holding up the bonnet. That's when my left shoulder (I was holding it up with my left hand) made a sudden "pop!" and pain seared through my shoulder. I also noticed I suddenly didn't have as much strength as before. I quickly changed sides, holding the bonnet up with my right hand (I hadn't got to the point of securing it) and noticed there was a weird lump on my left shoulder as my left arm almost limply hung from my shoulder. I tried moving it and found it very painful... Until it suddenly popped back into place. Now I have trouble using my left arm (I'm right handed): whether it's because I want to switch out the light or scratch the back of my neck. It hurts like hell. I don't know if the fact that I lift weights to train shoulders, back and chest, is a good thing (will that help the healing process?) or a bad thing...

The drugs don't work

Disclaimer: I did not intentially steal the title to this post, it is - actually - fact.

The neurologist prescribed me drugs to combat the vertigo. Since it's really bad when I suffer from jetlag he wanted me to start taking the drugs after I got back from my trip to New York City. And so the first full day at home I took two pills. With a 12-hour interval. Just like he prescribed.

After the first pill I got all itchy after about an hour, and I couldn't stop scratching. I took the second pill some time before I went to bed. Imagine my surprise (not in a good way!) when I woke up the next morning; apparently, the pills triggered my eczema and it had come back and manifested itself during the night. I couldn't remember suffering from it this badly in at least three years. Needless to say I quit the drugs and hope for my body to get rid of the crap as quickly as possible. Now I need to call the neurologist and set up a new appointment...

In the meantime I have booked a ticket to Indonesia - with my mom. We'll be gone for the entire month of October and I'm looking forward to that. AND yesterday I got tickets to (another) Sarah Bettens concert. Woot!

The kick off to my vacation has commenced!

Currently listening to Classic FM (www.classicfm.nl)

Good Sunday! I hope you're enjoying it so far. I should be packing my stuff, but some things have come up that made me abandon my task of packing to take care of other things first. Anyhoo...

Friday was a bit of a crazy day. I was a little late that morning walking to work and determined to get all the tasks done by the end of the day. Halfway the street I saw a Turkish young woman examining a car. I'm still not sure it was her car, but she wasn't looking very happy: the window on the passenger side was smashed in! And before the end of the street I saw the side windows of another car vandalized and the soft top of a convertible slashed. WTF?!
Granted, I don't live in the best neighborhood (a lot of the people living in my street are unemployed, have a record or both) but it is a safe one. Even late at night.
When I got at the office I immediately called my mom to ask if she could check up on my car. She called me back to inform me the car wasn't vandalized or broken into. What a relief.
When I got home from work I had two hours to cook, have dinner, shower, start a load of laundry (my mom would finish), pack an overnight bag and get my "costume" for the fantasy fair assembled. Needless to say, I ended needing half an hour extra after deciding to not dress up after all; I had assembled most of the costume when I figured it would be too much hassle with my NYC trip coming up shortly.
Even though I was put in a cat free bedroom (it's off limits to them because of the little hamster - who spend the night in the hallway) and I had my Benadryl I didn't quite manage to have a restful sleep; sometime during the night the effects wore off and I was coughing and sniffing in my sleep.
I woke up early, closed the windows (with the temperature drop it was crispy cool) and started dressing and getting ready for breakfast and the fantasy fair. I felt like a little kid getting ready for a fun day trip. (I even managed to get a proper breakfast into my body at eight-thirty in the morning!)
By the time we arrived at the grounds (and the castle is beautiful!) I had seen so many beautifully dressed visitors I felt seriously underdressed.
Mirthe wanted to be at Robin Hobb's reading at eleven, so that was the only aim for the day we had. The little tent was packed! I've never read anything by her, but I have heard of her. She read an excerpt from her new book and members of the audience got the chance to ask her questions. It was interesting.
We spent the rest of the day sauntering the grounds people watching and browsing stuff at various stands and tents. Even though I wasn't exactly warm nor sunny I was glad I didn't rain
Mirthe, her boy friend and her brother got stuff for their outfits for next year. And I had decided that if I'm attending again next year I will make sure I'll dress up, too. (Five days isn't exactly enough time to get a proper costume. And I have seen some fabulous ones at the fair - ranging from Sweeney Todd to Conan the Barbarian - so it was obvious those people mean serious bussiness and had taken their time on selecting theirs. I even saw a sole Ghostbuster, which reminded me of my friend Cliff
By the end of the evening I was tired and we collectively decided to head for home.
Two hours after I got home I was ready to crash for the night, and so I did (despite my intention to start packing for my trip).

I had such a good time! It was better than I had expected. People are friendly and some seriously seem to live in a parallel universe, and maybe I am going back next year. Disguised as a ninja. Heh.

Now, about the drugs my neurologist prescribed me: I'm so glad to have friends who help me balance out my thoughts on meds. I think the fact that my father was prone to psychosis and had some sociopathic tendencies, so when I read up on "sulpiride" it felt as if my ultimate nightmare had come true.
Good to know that one drug can be used to treat even seemingly unrelated symptoms. That put my mind at ease.

When I got home yesterday night (rather late) I found a message from my friend Trevor reminding me that April 19th is Dutch-American Friendship Day, and he gave me a long-distance hug. Ain't that sweet?

Ok, now I really need to continue packing my stuff for the trip.

I think my neurologist needs his head checked

The last time I saw the neurologist it was to get results of my brain scan. I had a follow up appointment today, and I left even less satisfied than the last time.
Let me rewind here. I'm not dissing neurologists, I think I just happened to come across a floozy.

I am in need of a second opinion on my cabeza matter: I had a follow up with the neurologist today and left with a prescription to something called "Dogmatil". He said it's an older drug, and I asked him why he came up with Dogmatil - to which he replied "experience".
Now that, in my book, is a wrong answer. The last time I saw him he wanted me to keep a journal, even though I told him I already did that to check off anything that could be related to the headaches and dizziness. He basically waved off any of my remarks with "I've seen some girls with head problems..." I found it very derogatory - and why is he comparing me to those "girls"?! Seems like with every visit my regards of him lowers more.
I didn't have a good feeling about the drug so I googled it, and it turns out the active ingredient is something called Sulpiride.
I've checked with several medical sites and what I read annoyed me: why is he giving me a drug that is mainly used to treat psychosis?!

What the heck was he thinking?!

I already E-mailed the drummer of my (former) band, whose dad's a neurologist too and only recently retired.

Elf Fantasy Fair

Yes, folks, it's going to happen this Saturday: I'm going to pop my Fantasy Fair cherry!
My friend Mirthe called me shortly after dinner. She knew it was short notice and she knew I'm leaving for NYC on the 23rd, but she had a left-over ticket. Would I like to come with them to the Elf Fantasy Fair?
Uhm... Fantasy is really more my brother's cup of tea. But heck, I've never attended one and it sounds like fun. So I said yes, and started brain storming about a possible outfit (preferably all black).
I refuse to go as a Hobbit (I know some friends will tease me about that) or an Asian Harry Potter. I have an unsharpened sword I smuggled home several years ago from Beijing, China (in my back pack no less!). I'm thinking of going like some sort of ninja. The only thing I need right now is a long black overcoat...

Androgyny

British model Agyness Deyn (real name "Laura Hollins" - thanks to my friend Wendy in the UK who came up this bit of trivia) is being hailed as the next Kate Moss, but oddly looks nothing like her. Agyness (pronounced as Agness) has super-short blond hair, and her personal style is more leather jackets and black jeans than dresses or tights.

Even on the runway or on the cover of British Vogue, she's a mix of masculine and feminine, and her androgynous look is popping up everywhere (she's currently in ads for Burberry and Georgio Armani).

The New York Times recently wrote, “Boy-short, peroxide-blond heads of hair are appearing all over fashionable London, replacing the long and shaggy locks that were the dominant look of the last few years.” Someone call Jenny Shimizu — it would appear that androgyny is making a comeback. (Not that it went away in the gay community, but in mainstream fashion, it's always a fleeting fad.)

Deyn is straight (unfortunately - but too skinny for my taste), but the fact that her look is being hailed as hot while being featured in the mainstream media is kind of awesome. Maybe she'll open the door for less feminine models to have successful careers without having to alter themselves into a more feminine version of themselves.

Evidence

Evidence is key in criminal cases. But some kinds of evidence I'd rather not see.
Ok, let me start at the beginning.
Sometime last year the board of the District Court decided to assign departments different offices. And so it happened. The migration of departments was in full swing during the Holiday Season, plans were fully realized by the start of the new year.
Ever since that time the washrooms seems to be... Less "shiny and clean" as before. It wasn't just me who noticed; more people on "my" wing and floor noticed (and complained). Although I prefer not to use public washrooms I'm not anal, and I know some dumps are smellier than others. But come on, we're adults. Right?!
Before, I just took the next stall. Or went to the men's room. But after the umpteenth encounter of something I'd rather not see, I took action.

I printed the following on a sheet of paper - and stuck it to the inside of the doors:

Done downloading?
Don't leave any evidence.
Thank you.

I hope people get it. (That was the nice version.) And I hope people stop complaining. Seriously, is it my duty to clean up after other people's asses? I don't think so!

More ink (for me)

I completely missed this years Algarve Cup, since it wasn't aired on Dutch tv (not even the highlights). BUT I caught a few snippets here and there online. By snippets I mean "written reports" and I know the US team eventually lost to Germany (4-3 in penalties) ending the USA's string of consecutive Algarve crowns at three.
One of the newer additions to the US national team is Natasha Kai (she actually made her debut at the team at the 2006 Algarve Cup). Initially, I didn't really pay attention to her. Until she started showing some serious ink. (Yes, I can be that shallow.) And the pic below is of the one I really, really like. I now have to think where I want it. I've already been thinking my back...

 

Spring is definitely not in the air

It has been snowing on and off the past two days, and the weather people on the news say it hasn't been this cold during Easter in 40 years. Unfortunately, or fortunately (depending on how one sees it), it's not cold enough so the snow melts away before it even hit the ground. Which is the main reason I haven't taken any pictures - unless you care about the dark murky stuff: too bad, eh!

I was supposed to go to Amsterdam to run some errands, but seeing how gray and sombre it was this morning I decided to catch up on sleep instead. (Postponing running the errands means that next weekend will be a little hectic. But: I need to be in Amsterdam next weekend anyway. So hopefully I'll be killing two birds with one stone.)

Anyhoo, I did a little cleaning and then killed some time in the afternoon. The following is one of the things I watched (sorry about the bad audio) and I suddenly realized that Karman's reaction's probably similar to mine (upon meeting Sarah Bettens) I sent a link to my friend Mirthe, who has yet to respond to it. She'll probably giggle watching the video, recognizing the behaviour. I am such a geek.

Zoek de verschillen

Currently listening to Kink FM (www.kinkfm.com)

Het ziet ernaar uit dat ik langzaam maar zeker steeds meer bevestiging krijg dat dinnetje en ik veel meer op elkaar lijken dan op het eerste gezicht het geval is. Onze denkwijzen verschillen ontzettend, maar in essentie komt het op hetzelfde neer. Wellicht niet zo heel vreemd voor "relatie-experts", maar ik heb dit nog niet eerder gehad (het kleine beetje ervaring dat ik heb is allesbehalve best). Cryptisch? Laat ik het proberen uit te leggen aan de hand van een voorbeeld.
Mijn San Fran vakantie dreigde in het water te vallen, waardoor ik een uitgelezen mogelijkheid zag om dit jaar toch nog naar Canada te gaan. Dinnetje reageerde ontzettend verheugd, maar tegelijkertijd terughoudend.
Vorige week kwam het hoge woord eruit: ze heeft een apartementje gekocht in het centrum van Halifax. Dit is geen verrassing voor mij, want ik wist dat ze er al een tijdje mee bezig was en ik wist dat het vroeg of laat ging gebeuren. Alleen niet zo vroeg... Alhoewel, vorige maand was ik met haar aan het chatten en vertelde ze mij dat ze was ingesneeuwd (binnen een half uur was alles ondergesneeuwd en waren de wegen slecht begaanbaar - kunnen wij ons in Nederland nauwelijks voorstellen). In de winter komt dit regelmatig voor in die contreien, alleen komt het niet regelmatig voor dat dinnetje dan daadwerkelijk - ongewild - het hele weekend binnen zit. (Daar kan zij niet tegen.)
Op zich hoeft dat geen ramp te zijn, maar als je bedenkt dat een ritje naar het centrum 20-25 minuten duurt verandert dat de zaken een beetje. Ze zou met een vriendin ergens wat gaan eten alvorens naar een theater voorstelling te gaan...
Nu heeft ze een apartementje gevonden dat 15 minuten van haar werk vandaan is (met de bus) en er zijn voldoende faciliteiten op loopafstand. Maarre, ik dwaal af.
Het punt dat ik wilde maken is dat ik dit soort dingen ook doe; communicatie is niet mijn sterkste punt, maar ik vind tegelijkertijd ook dat ik beslissingen (waarover ze ook mogen gaan) pas kan mededelen als het zover is. Dus tegen de tijd dat men heeft kunnen achterhalen waar mijn hoofdpijn en duizeligheid vandaan komen en ik me verder heb verdiept in een emigratie, dan zal ik dinnetje een hint geven. (Tja, die winters...) Lucy, een vriendin van me die ook plannen heeft om Nederland te verruilen voor Aveyron in Frankrijk, maakte een hele interessante observatie m.b.t. mijn duizelingen: "[...] mij valt op dat dat een tegengestelde richting is; een van verandering en groei en een die je vasthoudt/ klein houdt [...]". Daar ga ik eens goed over nadenken.
Afijn, ik snap nu waarom ze niet naar NYC of San Fran kan komen. Jammer, maar volgend jaar beter.
Het (nog) niet benoemen van wat er is heeft voordelen. (Ja, Saskia, het is erg veilig op die manier. Maar ik moet toegeven dat dit de eerste keer is dat ik inzie dat afstand ook een onprettige kant heeft.)

Collega Thea vroeg mij vorige week n.a.v. een wel erg kort koppie wat dinnetje van dat korte haar vind - of zij wist dat ik het zo kort had. Ik moest wel lachen; toen ik in Vancouver was had ik voor ongeveer €10 een knipbeurt gehad bij een Vietnamese kapper op Commercial Dr. en tegen de tijd dat ik aan de andere kant van het land aankwam was het nog steeds aan de korte kant (korter dan ik normaal gesproken heb). Dinnetje houdt er wel van, zegt ze zelf. Of, om haar te citeren: "I love petting hair. Heh. Especially short hair."
Tja, het is zeker niet begonnen met fysieke aantrekkingskracht, want we wisten al sinds 2005 (of was het 2004?) hoe "die ander" eruit ziet. (En al die tijd dacht ik dat dinnetje een stuk langer was, ook al waarschuwde ze mij dat we qua lichaamslengte niks schelen...)

De meeste weten dat Strangers in Paradise de lijm is tussen dinnetje en ondergetekende. Mijn broertje Arnold is meer fan van Buffy (net als Mirthe). En terwijl ik oude/ongebruikte plaatjes uit mijn "pictures file" verwijderde kwam ik het volgende tegen (let wel dat Terry Moore - van Strangers in Paradise - zijn bijdrage al vorig jaar op zijn blog publiceerde voor de trouwe fans, en dat die van Buffy - geen Amber en Willow - van een paar weken terug is):

Tja, dit ziet er in mijn optiek stukken aangenamer uit dan dat grijze gedoe buiten. En dan heb ik het nog niet eens over de sneeuw buien... Ik begin nu spontaan "Sometimes it snows in April" (van Prince) te zingen. Ook al is het nog geen april :p

Pinch me (I'm dreaming)

I don't know what brought this on, but it was weird - I tell ya!
You know the feeling when you wake in the morning and you know you had a dream you want to remember, but you just can't seem to recall it? Well, this morning wasn't like that.

Maybe my subconciousness was still trying to process what happened yesterday... I don't know. I'm sure it wasn't the celebratory drink I had before 3 pm; class mate MB and I were the only ones left of the group at Stairway to Heaven (yes, it's a rock cafe) and she wanted to get me my drink of choice to celebrate the fact we both passed the exam (she scored 73 out of 100). I had a Jameson on the rocks, MB had a Palm. We bonded over music (what else?). It turns out she has an equally ecclectic taste in music and used to play bass guitar in a band (both her brother and boy friend play drums).

Fast forward to the still of the night. Everyone's asleep. Me included. I'm talking to someone veeery familiar. And it's only after she asks me where I live so she can look me up the next time she's in the neighborhood I realize it's Sarah Bettens

Update:

I just found a picture of Sarah in a suit. Some of you know I have a thing for women in suits. I'd be lying if I say that doesn't get my motor running

This made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside

A dolphin has come to the rescue of two whales which had become stranded on a beach in New Zealand.
Conservation officer Malcolm Smith told the BBC that he and a group of other people had tried in vain for an hour and a half to get the whales to sea.

The pygmy sperm whales had repeatedly beached, and both they and the humans were tired and set to give up, he said. But then the dolphin appeared, communicated with the whales, and led them to safety.

The bottlenose dolphin, called Moko by local residents, is well known for playing with swimmers off Mahia beach on the east coast of the North Island.

Mr Smith said that just when his team was flagging, the dolphin showed up and made straight for them.
"I don't speak whale and I don't speak dolphin," Mr Smith told the BBC, "but there was obviously something that went on because the two whales changed their attitude from being quite distressed to following the dolphin quite willingly and directly along the beach and straight out to sea."

He added: "The dolphin did what we had failed to do. It was all over in a matter of minutes."

Mr Smith said he felt fortunate to have witnessed the extraordinary event, and was delighted for the whales, as in the past he has had to put down animals which have become beached. He said that the whales have not been seen since, but that the dolphin had returned to its usual practice of playing with swimmers in the bay.
"I shouldn't do this I know, we are meant to remain scientific," Mr Smith said, "but I actually went into the water with the dolphin and gave it a pat afterwards because she really did save the day."

People don't cease to amaze me

Just when I was starting to forget about missing my monthly band rehearsals, two of my former bandmates (the drummer and the bass player) surprise me with a belated response. And they both suprised me in a good way.

The drummer, who's currently visiting relatives in NYC, wondered if I was pissed off because of something she did. Whaaat? NO. (I told her so.) She told me her dad was a neurologist (but he retired two years ago) and I was welcome to ask him for a second opinion, or something.
The bass player is visiting San Fran around the same time I was, but will be renting a car to check out the San Fran, LA, Las Vegas area with a friend. Thinking my friend Mirthe has stopped singing permanently, the bass player said to keep an eye out for good singers since the second one we had, Barbara, wasn't bad - but nowhere as good as Mirthe.

Wow.

Photographs

When I got news of Magnum photographer Steve McCurry visiting my favorite bookstore in the country, The American Book Center - or: ABC, I was disappointed. Disappointed because I wouldn't be able to leave work early. Steve McCurry is best known for his famous National Geographic cover portrait The Afghan Girl. He visited the Amsterdam store today from 4pm to 6pm.

McCurry launched his career as a photojournalist when, disguised in native garb, he crossed the Pakistan border into Afghanistan, just before the Russian invasion in 1979. His coverage won him the Robert Capa Gold Medal for Best Photographic Reporting from Abroad. He is a member of Magnum Photos and has worked for many prestigious magazines, amongst them National Geographic.

“Afghan Girl” was named as the most recognized photograph in the history of National Geographic magazine. The identity of the Afghan Girl remained unknown for over 15 years until Steve McCurry and a National Geographic television crew returned to the region and found the woman, whom they discovered is called Sharbat Gula. I don't know how old that picture exactly is, but I do remember that from the first time I saw it I was captured by the girl's (beautiful) eyes; they definitely drew me into the picture.

The photographer also appeared at the Nieuwe Kerk at 20:00 hrs to discuss his experiences in Afghanistan and present his photos, and to sign his books. I would've liked to ask him for a few tips or pointers on how to photograph people.

1888 photo depicts Helen Keller

If Krista hadn't taken me to see the play last year, the article wouldn't have gotten my immediate attention. She thought I was familiar with the story, since I pretty much know everything North-American (NOT!), but I had never heard of it. I was curious about the play. We both liked it - and recommended it to friends.

(AP) Researchers have uncovered a rare photograph of a young Helen Keller with her teacher Anne Sullivan, nearly 120 years after it was taken on Cape Cod. The photograph, shot in July 1888 in Brewster, shows an 8-year-old Helen sitting outside in a light-colored dress, holding Sullivan's hand and cradling one of her beloved dolls.

Experts on Keller's life believe it could be the earliest photo of the two women together and the only one showing the blind and deaf child with a doll — the first word Sullivan spelled for Keller after they met in 1887 — according to the New England Historic Genealogical Society, which now has the photo.
"It's really one of the best images I've seen in a long, long time," said Helen Selsdon, an archivist at the American Foundation for the Blind, where Keller worked for more than 40 years. "This is just a huge visual addition to the history of Helen and Annie."

Sullivan was hired in 1887 to teach Keller, who had been left blind and deaf after an illness at the age of 1 1/2. With her new teacher, Keller learned language from words spelled manually into her hand. Not quite 7, the girl went from an angry, frustrated child without a way to communicate to an eager scholar.
While "doll" was the first word spelled into her hand, Helen finally comprehended the meaning of language a few weeks later with the word "water," as famously depicted in the film "The Miracle Worker." Sullivan stayed at her side until her death in 1936, and Keller became a world-famous author and humanitarian. She died in 1968.

Jan Seymour-Ford, a research librarian at the Perkins School for the Blind in Watertown, which both Sullivan and Keller attended, said she was moved to see how deeply connected the women were, even in 1888.
"The way Anne is gazing so intently at Helen, I think it's a beautiful portrait of the devotion that lasted between these two women all of Anne's life," Seymour-Ford said.

Close but no cigar

My last day of the Criminal Law & Penal Codes crash course before the exam in 15 days. It was the hardest I had in a long time; lots of extra info (in preparation for the exam) and a guest speaker (not a good one, unfortunately - I think he wasn't well prepared; his speech didn't make any sense).
We also had a fun quiz on summons: each of us had to complete one by filling out additional info. One of the teachers said that in all his time he's been reaching no one has managed to ace it. He was hoping someone was going to today. He gave us some time to finish it, before going through the answers.
After the second fill out a fellow student next to me and I were the only ones left who had completed the summons correctly. Halfway through I was the only one.
Whereas back in the old days I would be embarassed, I now felt excited: would I be the first one to actually ace it? Everybody was rooting for me.
Unfortunately, I forgot ONE important detail... To add "summons" on the correct spot of that piece of paper.

Shucks!

... If I were a sailor...

Sarah Harmer - "Almost"

I almost dialed your number,
Well I thought the coast was clear
cause it's looked up for so long at me,
And said call me please.

But the place was closing,
the countergirl turned to sign,
the cooks were getting their coats
and I got mine,
and said goodnight to the scene of empty seats

(Chorus)
And if I am a sailor,
you are the warm gulf wind,
and you've blown into this little port
and roused my dreams again.

I see my mouth moving when I talk to you, I do,
I see my lips and I feel like a kid
who can't keep something in.
Cause I blunder the paper you were writing on
you left your impression long after you'd gone on me,
marks only I can see.

(Chorus)
When we say sometime later,
you know that we don't say when,
You have into this little port
and roused my dreams again.

I almost dialed your number,
Well I thought the coast was clear
cause it's looked up for so long at me,
And said call me please.

(Chorus)
When we say sometime later,
you know that we don't say when,
You have into this little port
and roused my dreams again.
Roused my dreams.

Sailor to wind

Ok, seriously...

Currently listening to Triggerfinger (album: What grabs ya)

I'm slightly miffed. Only slightly. And here's why.
The only person of the band who hadn't replied to the E-mail exchange did so yesterday. I was surprised when the bottom line of all the E-mails was that the band was history, but I was even more surprised to read her reply.
She thinks the band gave up too easily, when it's obvious we share the same tastes in music, are from the same age span, and we're musically on the same level.
I swear my jaw dropped when I read that. Same musical tastes? I deliberately looked for common ground when it came to picking songs. Musically on the same level? Where most of us actually have stage experience, it was also very obvious to me she has only started out playing the guitar. I can tell by the way she held herself while playing and by the fact she can't carry a tune. I never made a problem of that, since she played the right chords, but I heard her play a couple of very well known songs... And, well, if she didn't mention the song titles and performers I'd never have guessed.
All the songs I picked were 1. at least in Mirthe's vocal range and 2. easy enough for a beginning guitarist to play. I have mentioned a few times to friends that I wasn't happy with the "new" guitarist. Even though she was very enthusiastic about playing with the band, she lacks actual experience. And it held me back. I hardly ever played any hard rocking songs and hard rocking riffs since two of the fellow members hate that kind of sh*t. (Most of the time, apart from Mirthe, the rest didn't even had a clue about the songs and/or performers, that's how much we're alike in our tastes in music.) And now she's basically comparing our styles in playing! WTF?!
I may lack in the theoretical side of music (I never had any lessons, nor can I read or write music) and I may be limited due to the size of my hands (they're really very small) but I'm good at what I do. Over the years I had a few people approach me about joining another band or recording stuff (semi-professional), so I'm guessing I do have something that appeals to them.
So reading that reply did offend me. And trust me; I am not easily offended.
Mirthe's reply to me on that E-mail made me smile, though. She was just as confused as I was, and basically saying that the other guitarist totally lost her. (Can you spell "denial"?)

On another note: a colleague (from another court) approached me to join a one time soccer team and play other teams on May 23rd - all formed by employees of the court and/or DA's offices.
I immediately started to warm up to the idea. I was never like Mia Hamm, but I used to be quite good: even in high school I sometimes played soccer with and against the boys. And I used to l*ve it, even though it meant wreaking havoc to my (injured) knees.
I know that if I were to join the team I'd play to win (it's going to be a mixed team, which is totally fine with me). Even though it would mean busting out my knees and ending up injured at the end of the day. So I told him to count me in if he's one person short to make a full team.
The funny thing is that the other day I was working out on the rowing machine (I did badly by needing 6 minutes to cover 1K, while I usually need about a minute less) and an older guy was at the one next to me when I suddenly found myself trying to outdo him. I don't know if I'd do the same thing if it was a woman.
I guess I'm a bit weird that way.

There's no such thing as a coincidence

I think it's a Dutch saying, but I'm not certain of that. It means that everything happens for a reason, and it's something I agree on.
Despite the fact that rehearsals are called off, I do go to Amsterdam. By train. The nice thing is I get to study (Criminal Law & Penal Codes) without distraction (I have my personal audio to keep me concentrated...)
My friend H is waiting for me at Central Station, and we immediately start catching up. On life in Moscow, her job (she used to be a freelance journalist), her coworkers and Russian women. I tell her about my switch from Family Court to Juvenile Court, my vacation plans, my head problems, martial arts (thanks to my scraped knuckles).
H is suddenly confronted by how crowded Amsterdam is - even on a Sunday, with all the tourists. As a local she's never noticed it before. (She's born and raised there, as far as I know.) We hit two bookstores *gasp* but I manage to contain myself and not spend all my money. I remind myself I need to cut back on spending money, and besides less trips to the cinema/art house and theater it also means buying less books and music.
We also talk about the band, how it took me by surprise that the band split up after I E-mailed them I was quiting. (Not to sound Brokeback or anything.) I don't mind giving people "bad" news (as long as I'm able to soften the blow) it's the E-mail part I don't like. I prefer to bring it personally. (I guess I'm old fashioned, or maybe I'm just a bit of a masochist...)
H and I had early dinner at Wagamama (where else?) and while I had a yummy veggie curry dish, H had salmon - equally yummy. I'd kill to eat fish without getting sick... Anyhoo, H suddenly mentions she wants to visit San Francisco, too. Like me. I think my jaw about dropped: another friend of mine, W, is also thinking of going. So I suggested to my friend H that maybe they could go together. They can cut costs that way. Now, don't go thinking that just because two of my friends want to visit SF they should go together. I suggested it to H (who's open to it) because it would make sense: they're both nice, sweet and easy going people - pretty similar. I'm sure they get along fine.
After dinner I took the train back south, and H went on to her next appointment (she's flying back to Moscow, Russia on Friday). Instead of reading the magazines I got, I immediately grabbed my copy of the Complete Persepolis. My basic Greek kicks in (had it in my junior year in high school): Persepolis probably means capital city of Persia, since "polis" is Greek for city or body of citizens, and "Perse" means Persia.
I read for close to two hours straight! Persepolis is a great, gripping read. Funny and poignant. And this girl has some "cojones"! Makes mine shrivel in comparison
Currently, I'm halfway done, and even more curious about the movie. I'd like to see it.
After I get home I get ready to send both H and W an E-mail with my suggestion to maybe visit San Fran together when W appears online. W is also open to the suggestion, and now I hope they hit off well.

My noggin's alright.

After waiting 2.5 weeks I finally got the results of the CT scan today; the neurologist went through the pictures with me and explained to me what the black spots meant (air and water is black) and the white. It was awesome to see what the inside of my head looks like and to hear that there's nothing wrong with my brains (yes, I do have 'em!). The thing is I wasn't surprised, since I didn't think a scan would show any anomalies.
Anyhoo, since we're nowhere near the cause of my headaches and dizziness (I spent the greater part of last Saturday sick of dizziness) the neurologist wants me to start keeping a diary, and come back in two months time. I'm pretty sure he thinks it's linked to a patern - maybe hormonal. It certainly is one I haven't been able to detect myself, so I decided to humor him and start to write a journal.

Doctor, doctor, gimme the news...

I thought I'd be fine, but waiting 2.5 weeks for the results of the CT scan is pretty darn long! (One week to go...)

We're behind on House on this side of the Atlantic, but I do know of that new doctor called "Thirteen"; nice piece of eye candy. I didn't recognize Olivia Wilde (blonde and gay on the OC, but not quite doing it for me then). If only my neurologist looked like that...

Apparently, she's queer: last night, Foreman called out (pun intended) Olivia’s enigmatic character Thirteen for keeping herself a mystery:

“I’m sure that you have many reasons to keep yourself a mystery – besides the fact that you’re bisexual…[pause as she stares wide-eyed at him]…Denial would’ve worked before the long vacant stare.”

And at the end of the episode, House has Thirteen take the patient for a procedure:

House: You do it both ways, right?
Thirteen: What? [stares incredulously at him]
House: The ultrasound. You do it standing up and lying down…What else would I mean? [wink!]

Watch the teasers here:

Sensing a theme

Currently listening to Fleetwood Mac (album: Greatest Hits)

I know Mirthe from Law school (Maastricht University) and at one point we found out we share a passion for music. She likes to sing, I like to play the guitar. We started to meet up on Sunday afternoons - when schedules allowed - for some jamming. We slowly forged a friendship. That was about a decade ago...

I got Mirthe to join the band half a year ago. The upside to this is she finally got to experience first hand how good she sings, and how good we are as a duo. She now has the confidence to start performing in front of an audience - something I was confident of from the start.
Anyway, we hadn't played together for quite a while, till today. We did some songs from the old days like "Better be home soon" by Crowded House, "Building a mystery" and "Ice cream" by Sarah McLachlan, "Give you back" by Vertical Horizon and some songs we've been playing lately like "Put it out for good" by Amy Ray, "Chasing cars" by Snow Patrol, "Make it wit chu" by Queens of the Stone Age, "Come over here" by Sarah Bettens, "Prayer for you" by Texas.

At one point she stated she noticed a theme in the songs we were playing: Come over here, Ice cream, Make it wit chu, Put it out for good (there's a line in there that goes "Rub up against me till it's alright"). OMG, I hadn't noticed until Mirthe practically spelled it out for me, and it totally cracked me up.

I'm... Handsome

What would you do if a cute chica told you you're handsome? (That's what happened to me yesterday...)
Me? I blushed, looked away, and scuffed the toes of my shoes on the concrete before I thanked her.
It's definitely different from women calling me "cute" or "adorable"!

Happy birthday, mommy

I woke up to "Silence" by Delerium this morning and was informed by the morning DJ it's Sarah McLachlan's birthday today. Hm... That means she shares it with my mom! Heh.

Scan

I went back to the hospital on Friday to get the brain scan. It was quick and painless.
I admit I got a little nervous (thankgawd I didn't get anything stick to my head), but that was gone the minute I laid myself down and was then pushed into that tube that is the scan.
The radiologist told me I could open my eyes, which enabled me to see the inside of the machine. A moment later he turned it on and the part that was going to X-ray my brain was revolving around me like a little moon around a planet. I wasn't sure what the deal was, but if they wanted me to lie still I had to close my eyes; the revolving thing was making me dizzy and nauseous. And I don't think they want me to throw up in that expensive thing.
The CT scan made a "peep!" noise every few seconds and the table I was laid on was moving with tiny bursts (or so it seems); I was very comfy, but it wasn't exactly peaceful enough to snooze or have a 30-minute power nap. (The radiologist re-adjusted my head twice.)
And then it was over.
Now I have to wait till February 13 for the result (yes, people, that's 2.5 weeks).

My brother and I took mom out for dinner last night. We both did our best to keep it a secret - and we succeeded. It wasn't after I picked up Arnold that my mom started to understand we weren't having dinner at his place. I drove us to a little Mexican restaurant in Eindhoven called Tortillas. It's one of my favorite places for well over a decade (it was before I even moved to Eindhoven and lived there for a short while).
Anyhoo, the food was good and so was the company. Arnold and I are still contemplating what to give mom for her birthday. Tomorrow.
Any suggestions are welcome!

Oh, and going back to the brain thingy, here's a video of a dutch band called Golden Earring (you probably know "Radar love" which was an international hit for these guys!) with an 80s hit called "When the lady smiles":

Singer Barry Hay is creepy, but the red head is HOT!

Rain and shine

Currently listening to "Godspeed" by Ozark Henry.

The past week has been anything but boring. I'll recap the good parts for you.
After getting a referral to a neurologist I finally got to see one on Wednesday; an older guy who apparently is used to treating Asians - or more specifically, Indonesians.
He asked me several questions (one of them was whether I grew up in Indonesia or the Netherlands - and how long I've had the symptoms) to get some insight.

More about the symptoms: headaches and dizziness. The thing is I really don't know what is up with that. I suddenly started back in Oct. 06 - I never had headaches nor dizzy spells before, but suddenly I did and I was sick literally (throwing up and walking into walls and door posts) for a couple of days. Then I decided to not be such a baby and popped a few pills that are comparable to a combo/mix of ibuprofen and Tylenol or Panadol and went back to work.
After that I occasionally get headaches (imagine someone slowly pushing an ice pick through the back of your skull, and equally slowly extracting it). There are no signs to what causes them (it could be anything from working out to reading a book, or walking through a hallway - and I even checked with foods). The same goes for the dizziness. I just don't want to be driving down a highway and get a dizzy spell, only to find myself "parked" against a metal railing on the other side of the road. After getting back from my Hong Kong trip in March last year I went to see my doctor who was convinced I just needed a nice warm Summer. (I blogged about it here.)
I had a nice Summer in Vancouver and Halifax, Canada, but despite wonderful weather the symptoms came and went randomly. All I could do was hope I wouldn't stagger down the streets like some drunk. 
Anyhoo, I got a nasty flu in December last year, that reminded me how bad the headaches and dizziness got (24 hours a day for several days straight). So I decided to wait out the flu, then go back to see the doctor and demand a referral to a neurologist. I got one - without having punch my little fist onto the doc's desk. Heh.

So, I went to see the neurologist Wednesday. Had to do some test; some with my eyes open, some with my eyes closed, he checked my sense of balance, my reflexes and my hearing (he found out I have excellent hearing *LOL*) but that didn't disclose anything. He told me the headaches are probably "classic" (regular) headaches  but he couldn't find the reason for my dizziness, so he referred me to a radiologist for a brain scan *sigh*
Cross your fingers around noon this Friday!

On Thursday I met up with Tweety (and her boyfriend Johan - who I then met for the first time); we were going to book our NYC trip :)
I had been urging to meet up and book ASAP since some time last year but somewhere something in our communication went wrong, so we lost a lot of precious time. And money. Don't get me wrong, Tweety's a good friend and usually very timely. But with about three months to go till the start of our (planned) trip and the TriBeCa film festival running  it was mighty high time to book.
The girl from the travel agent's was a good help and managed, despite the fact that all the cheaper hotels (the Gershin and Thirty-Thirty were our first choices) were solidly booked, to get Tweety and I a fairly good deal at the Radisson!
Even though we were both glad to have arranged the whole trip, we were both shocked at the amount of money it was costing us as well (Tweety even more so than I was). We could've saved about €500,-/€600,- (about a month's rent) by booking last year, but I reminded Tweety it was a temporary set back: US$ is cheap, and there are plenty of places where food is good and cheap. And shopping on the North American continent is cheaper, too.
I hope I'll be able to meet up with my friends Doug and "nuke" (and his family).

Finally, I'm not sure what brought this on, but the last few days Kate Bush's "This woman's work" has been on my mind. A hauntingly beautiful song, IMO...

Recapping the week

Currently listening to Arcade Fire (album: Neon Bible)

The past week was good.
I attended an after work function on Monday to commence the new year with my coworkers. The food (an Italian style buffet) was quite alright. The inhouse photographer made pictures I thought was a clear example of how NOT to put people on film: several of them were depicted with their eyes half closed (or open - depending on how you see it) others showed them mid-bite/mid-chew.
I applied to be inhouse photographer as well, and I'm now (together with another male colleague) back up photographer to district court functions, festivities and excursions.

Criminal Law & Penal Code 101 on Tuesday. I'd forgotten how it is to commute everyday to get to college; it takes me an hour and a half by train and then a 15-minute-walk.
The 4-day course is an introduction for most of my fellow class mates, but one that refreshes my memory :)
The teachers make it a fun class; physically they sorta remind me of Laurel & Hardy, but they way they finish eachother's thoughts is testament to the fact they've been friends for a long time - and they stil are.

On Thursday I met up with my friend Tweety for dinner to go over our NYC trip and to set a date to book it. We both got excited :)
Usually we go to a sushi bar, but this time we opted for an Argentinian grill (it's nice to break away from routine *lol*) where Tweety went for grilled salmon and I chose the rack of lamb (I'm sorry, Mary!). The food was good, and we had plenty of room to lay out the different NYC travel brochures.
After setting a date we enjoyed our meals and caught up on life. Time flies and before we knew it it was closing in on 10pm. It's always good to hang out with Tweety :)

Friday went by in a wink of an eye.
It was ridiculously hectic at work, but since it was my birthday I'm entitled to have the afternoon off.
I had people from all over the world wishing me a happy birthday :) The first one came from a friend in Manchester, UK, very shortly after midnight. My friends at the Strangers in Paradise forum also got me cool/funny cards and pictures. Thank you all.
Amongst the gifts I got was a new portable guitar amp! Woohoo!
My mom took me out for (veggie) sushi and miso soup, which I shared with her along with some edamame beans, yakitori chicken, mini veggie spring rolls, and green tea ice cream. The food was good :) But walking back to the train station we were caught in a rain shower - one that seemed to get worse the closer we got to the station. Anyhoo... I had a wonderful day.

Browsing the innerweb I found this clip of Cashmere Mafia, which I find funny. Until I realized I could be Caitlin; I'm clumsy. With a capital K.

Happy New Year!

Currently listening to Beth Hart (album: 37 days)

Happy New Year and may all good things come to you in 2008!

That said, I thought I'd recap 2007...

I kick off the new year by seeing "Eragon" in a movie theater; a fantastic movie. About a month later I go see "An inconvenient truth". This one gives me more food for thought.
Two weeks later I enjoy "Little Miss Sunshine"; a great feel good movie.

The first Monday of March I leave for a short vacation. My destination is Hong Kong. The flight is longer than I'd expected, but Hong Kong is truly a great city! Even though it's smack dab in the middle of Asia there's a vast diversity in people and foods. Very unlike Beijing. People generally speak English, and I blend right in. Literally.
At the end of the month a friend and I go see Nathalie Baartman in the theater. She's very funny in an off beat way, and when it came to that night's audience participation guess who got lucky. Yep; me.

The first Friday of April sees my brother and me at an Ozark Henry concert. Two and a half weeks later I go and see "Hot fuzz" which is very funny. The last couple of days I spend with a friend of mine from Finland who is visiting.
I spend Queensday with my friends Julia and Sjoerd (and their kid Chris), who I've come to see a bit as family outside my own family. We enjoy a sunny day at Vondelpark.

Friends of mine invite me for their housewarming as I helped them with moving stuff and put a desk together. You know, the usual... I end May with my friend Elisabeth at the Pinkpop festival, and a couple of days later my mom and I are at a Tori Amos concert in Amsterdam.

I hadn't swam in almost two decades (thanks to my eczema), but I decided to go swimming again - the fysiotherapist at my gym recommended swimming to keep my shoulder injury at bay. I also have a wind surfing clinic, which I totally dug. Unfortunately, there's something in the water that triggered my eczema. I quit swimming after a few times and I decide not to get additional wind surfing classes.

 
The day of the clinic, June 22, also marks the day my dear friend Tatjana died five years ago due to some form of leukemia triggered by her first pregnancy. (The singer in the posted picture above is Tatjana.) Tat and I had become fast friends a year or so earlier, and I admired her for her sunny disposition and positive outlook on anything. She inspired me to become the best person I can be.

Elisabeth and I attend a Scissor Sisters concert on the fourth of July, and I end the month by going to see the latest Harry Potter movie.

After a dreary Summer I leave for Vancouver on September 13. I get to soak up plenty of sun and meet my friend Kelly who shows me around and introduces me to some of her friends. Vancouver is a laid back city and I like it there a lot. About a week and a half later I fly to Halifax and meet my friend Krista. She shows me a great time.

My friend Saskia arrives in the Netherlands on the same day as I do - albeit on a different flight from a different country. There is one thought we share: it's frackin cold. I don't get to meet her till about two and a half weeks later, and we agree on another thing: one afternoon isn't enough to catch up. I intend to visit her in Curacao, again. I just don't know when.

A friend and I go see "Bloeiende Maagden" at a theater on Halloween. In passing a couple of Americans on a pedestrian bridge I make their day by wishing them a Hapy Halloween.
I attend the annual Museumn8 with Mirthe and EJ on November 3rd, and two days later I see "Control" with my friends Marelle and Kim. The movie makes me dig out my Joy Division cd. Two days later I'm back in Amsterdam for (another) Beth Hart concert. She rocks the house - as expected.
On Saturday I attend a reunion at COC Maastricht, and get to see and speak old friends (some of them I haven't spoken to in a decade). I have a wonderful time.

Due to a bad case of flu, Bruce Springsteen delays his concert by one day, so I find myself grinning and singing along for two hours straight on World AIDS Day. And two days later I find myself seated next to Sarah Bettens at Wagamama, while a couple of friends and I have a pre-concert dinner (like she and her band mates did). Again, I totally dork out...
A week or two later I suffer from a bad case of flu myself - and I do mean "bad": the first day I slept about 20 hours! Try and beat that :p Anyhoo, I was painfully reminded to the fact I'm sometimes bugged by skull splitting headaches and dizziness that come and go in a blink of an eye (so to speak), only now it was 24/7 - or so it felt like. I finally get the doc's referral to see a neurologist (I've head the headaches and dizzy spells since Oct. 06) and I made an appointment for Jan. 16.
I see "The Golden Compass" with WP and I end the year with a rocking performance of Beth Hart.

Apart from a few minor setbacks all in all I had an amazing year, and I'm sure 2008 will be just as wonderful

Merry Christmas

Santa flu

OK, so after four days of sleeping, a bit of reading, sleeping, watching a bit of the news on telly and more sleeping I thought I was able to go back to work (I got tired from all that sleeping, and I lost track of time).
I woke up without a splitting headache or dizzy spell, so the day started alright (I ignored the clicking sound in my ears everytime I swallow). When I normally walk to work, it takes me less than twenty minutes - depending on the pace. Today it took me almost half an hour! (And I was tired before I even got halfway.)
Coworkers were surprised to see me back, took one look at me, told me I looked like crap and that I should be home in bed. Yack-yack-yack. Well, poop! I stalked through the hallways like a rosy cheeked zombie spreading the lovely flu *COUGH-COUGH-COUGH*
Most even noticed I was wearing a longsleeved hoodie and a knitted hat (to protect my ears against the crisp wind outside) indoors, as opposed to my regular (tee-)shirt/jeans outfit.
Sometime around noon I switched my own knitted hat for a Santa Hat that I have lying in a drawer. That surely got people snickering. Well, the thing was they sorta felt sorry for me (I probably looked as miserable as I felt) but seeing me looking totally cute and adorable wearing that hat got them smiling Heh.
I managed to get a little bit of work done - not as much as I hoped, but I'm not complaining. I intended to work a full day, but I gave up a little before four; I was exhausted.

Guess what I did when I got home? You guessed it: get some sleep.

PS Santa Flu is my word play on a Dutch anti cough candy called "Anta Flu".

FUTCH

Dani Campbell's futch:
[...] It's kind of a cross between a femme and a butch. I'm not femmey by any means, and I don't like to consider myself butch either. I've seen the extreme on both ends, and I feel like I'm somewhere in the middle there, so I put the two words together and called it "futch." [...]

... And that's exactly how I see myself as well! (So if you need to label me, call me futch *lol*).

Eye candy

I'm not saying anything. I just ogle...

... And I ogle some more:

*sings* "Take me to the candy shop" *snickers*

Subtext, anyone?

I mean - what's with the staring? ;) Checkit...

Reunion

The Maastricht office of the COC celebrates its 35th birthday. Every person who have volunteered over the years were invited to come and celebrate; I accidentally became one after writing a paper on the legal position of the non-biological mother in a lesbian relationship. (Eventually, it formed the basis of my thesis.)
I "Hyved" a few friends I knew from those days, but hadn't seen in years. (Hyves is the Dutch version of Facebook. Sorta.) They in turn notified people they knew from back then... I was looking forward to seeing old friends and reminisce.

This picture was taken 10 years ago, at COC Maastricht's 25th birthday bash. And a party it was!

Can you spot me? (I'm the one who adds some color to the bunch *snickers*) This was taken after the Sunday brunch. I think it really is too bad the picture is that small!

After we got name tagged (which also enables us to get free drinks throughout the evening) we each got a slice of (fruit) pie and a cup of tea or coffee. Old footage was being shown in two rooms (from way before my time), and someone had made several collages from old photographs and news clippings. I suddenly found myself looking at a younger and slimmer version of myself. I'm not sure who made the collage, but that picture was so me: I was playing the guitar... The things that bugged me a little bit was that I couldn't remember for the life of me when that picture was taken or whose guitar it was. Cos it certainly wasn't mine!
It was great catching up with old friends. At one point I wished Krista was there, so she could hear firsthand from a couple of friends I'm not as straight laced as I appear to be!
Seeing my buddy Ro felt like seeing a brother I hadn't talked to in a long time. It was great, and it felt a little like old times. We reminisced about the our days at the COC, and concluded that some memories were shrouded in an alcoholic haze *lol* We both remember drinking an entire bottle of whiskey during one weekend. And then going back to college/university on Monday morning. Sober.

I also caught up with several female friends from those days, but I somehow ended up chatting with the gents for the greater part of the evening. One of them (whose name just escaped me) put an arm around me and confessed that if only I were a boy... Well, some things never change ;p What did change was that a friend of ours - we considered her "top dyke" - is now in a relationship with a man. If it had been any other lesbian friend I wouldn't have been as surprised...

Ro and I went for sushi for dinner, and caught up some more. He's still that sweet guy from back then. Too bad it was raining, otherwise we would've gone for a walk through a nocturnal Maastricht. Now we went for coffee and tea at another place we used to frequent back in the days: de Perroen.
When we got back some